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You'd think this would feel good...

So I have been working on my book for the last decade, and you would think that it would feel good to have it almost finished, right? Wrong!

I have just completed what I hope will be my penultimate read through, ironed out all the creases that had been niggling me, tied more things in, tinkered, tinkered. Now I have to:
1. Write a small, filler chapter
2. Write a paragraph explaining more fully a character's motivation
3. Input all my corrections which are currently in hard copy.
4. Final copy-edit
5. Input all those corrections
6. Put it to bed.

You'd think that would feel good, but yet there is this horrible, niggling fear creeping around the edges of my brain. It goes something along the lines of 'what the fuck am I going to do when this one is finished? Seriously, WTF?' I've never finished something THIS massive before, not ever, and I am scared that I will miss it when its done. Maybe I should try being a bit more Stephen King about it and focus on thinking along the lines of 'well, that's my world set up, now I can go play about in it a bit more for seven or eight more books'.

Positive people around me are telling me that I should feel awesome for finishing, and yet I don't, I feel a bit crap and a bit like there is going to be a big hole in my life. Oh my goodness, I am having a novel break up. Will I ever love another character again as much as I love WW? Yes, probably, perhaps even more - its either that or I consign myself to novel spinsterhood forever and I am not about to do that in my real life, so why should I do it in my novel-writing life too!

Wow, this is weird.

Calling all writers...

So most of you out there who are interested in creative writing of some variety or other are likely to have been on a creative writing course. I'm interested to know what you found useful about the courses you have attended? What was not so useful, or downright rubbish? What would you like to see covered on a course? What do you, as a writer, wish you knew more about?

I would greatly appreciate your comments.

Thanks everyone.

Today

I feel like I am vaguely irritated by everyone and everything that crosses my path today. It is not a good place for me to be.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Allotmenting

I went to the allotment last night, having been unable to go for several days due to various stuff. Anyway, things are romping along nicely. Here are a list of the beds I have in:

Bed 1: chard, rainbow chard, beetroot, parsnips. All doing really well so far. Thinned everything out last night and going to eat the thinnings as salad tonight. I detest thinning seedlings out, but at least I can eat these ones.

Bed 2: cabbage and kohl rabbi - doing really well too. I nearly killed the kohl rabi for some reason, but it seems to have taken to being planted really well. The cabbage is looking pretty nice too and some of it is starting to develop hearts.

Bed 3: courgettes and squash. Suffered a little because I haven't been able to water it a lot recently, but is looking good despite that. The plants that are doing well are really doing well, the weaker ones look pretty crappy though.

Bed 4: Garlic and onions. The first bed to get planted up, its looking rather lovely and the onions are starting to swell up. They have lovely long, green tops, which is nice. I've still got them covered in net just in case the birds try and have a go at them.

Bed 5: potatoes. One or two plants are starting to get flowers on now. Very exciting. Now all I need to do is remember which ones are the earlies...

Bed 6: Broccoli. Also looking good, despite the bed being choked with weeds. Had a bit of a clear out, so it should continue to do ok. Will need thinning though soon.

Bed 7: Strawberries. Looking good, but I find myself a bit dis-interested in them for some reason - probably because no matter how hard I try, I only ever get three or four strawbs off.

Bed 8: Pumpkin and squash. Three of the pumpkin have died through lack of water, but the rest look reasonable, the squash are doing better though. I have a couple of replacement courgette plants at home that I will bung in the spaces that are left.

Home: Broad beans have started podding now. Woot! Can't wait to start eating them, which is a good things as I suspect that I will be overrun with them as I have grown far too many. The freezer will be filled though. Peas also podding with mange tout, but not at the same rate. Going to let bunny eat them off the plant as I don't think I planted enough and suspect that we won't even get a meal out of them.

Essentially, I love growing stuff.

Rollins!

Henry Rollins is playing Edinburgh Fringe again this year. Am so going, so that he can fall in love with me. I'm a reader!

Soooo excited about the possibility of going to see him, could be brilliant!

Anne Lister

Being from Halifax, and a bit into my history and such, I had wondered when a dramatization of Anne Lister's life would come along, and finally it did, last night on BBC 2.

It was really good to see someone finally notice Halifax's out-there daughter who seems to have been as much out of her time as Byron did.

Plus you got to see the gorgeous Shibden Hall, which has been a part of my life and experience of Halifax since I was a kid and broke my ankle sledging down the hill there.

The North in generally is so neglected by the BBC, it was nice to see them nod to our existence up here with something that was actually good, and acted by people who were either from these parts, or who could do a damn good accent - these things matter, especially when the Halifax accent is so distinct.

So yes, is good, watch it if you can find it on iplayer or similar.

Holidays

What's the most dangerous thing you've ever done?
- Went to Mexico

Are you glad you did it?
- Yes

Would you do it again?
- No

I think that I might really, reeeeeally want to go to Russia this year for my holiday. Or Canada, or Italy, or Spain.

There are too many options and not enough money to pay for it all.

Pants.

Horses

Yesterday, whilst in town, I heard the clatter of rapid hoof-steps echoing down the street and looked up to see a beautiful white horse galloping towards us. Luckily we were out of its way and safe, but for a split second, I was back in the 1800s, when things like that must have happened much more frequently. It helped my imagination that I was on one of the older streets in town.

You can read the full story here:
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/8180975.Carriage_driver_injured_as_horse_gallops_through_York_streets/

York is a place where history bleeds into the modern day, and when you see horses galloping about, it makes it all the more believable.